Happy Birthday, Happy Book Day!

Today is my birthday.  28.  And my book is now published.  I'm not sure which one to be more proud of.  The fact that I survived it til my 28th birthday, or that my dream of publishing my book came true.
I didn't think that recovery from Anorexia was possible, yet here I am, four years later, a book, and another birthday--another day.  Alive.  And grateful for all these things.  Grateful for the life I have been given.  Grateful for the support of my loving family and friends.  Grateful to know the beautiful people I have met suffering with eating disorders and knowing that they too can make it over to the other side and having so much hope for them.

Four years ago in November, I returned home to Connecticut from LA with a horrifying eating disorder.  I couldn't have a birthday cake on the 23rd that year to celebrate.  The thought of it was too scary.  We celebrated six months later, in April with a bunny shaped Carvel cake.  I remember it perfectly.  It was still hard then, but easier.  It does get easier.  Thanksgiving was terrifying.  Where was the fruit?  Oh good, cranberry sauce.  I did a great attempt, or what I thought was great, but everyone else saw what small portions I was eating.  I couldn't see it then, but see it all too clear now.  That was four years ago.  This year, November 23, 2010, Anorexia is in my past.  I am not afraid to eat meals with my family.  I am excited for my birthday cake this year!  And even more excited to spend Thanksgiving with my wonderful family.  I am myself, finally.

Eating Disorders are a terrible, mind-altering disease, one I thought I could never get out of, but somehow, I did, and I will be forever grateful for that, my health, and the people who helped me along the way.  It seemed impossible at times.  Like the pain would never go away--the pain of suffering, the pain of recovery.  But it's important to push through the pain.  To know that the pain of recovery is worth it because soon, that will go away, and then recovery is beautiful..  You get your life back, you will get a life.  A will to live.  You want to see family and friends again.  You don't want to hide anymore.  And most importantly, you know who you are again.   Yes, it can take a while, but it is a worthwhile process that can save your life.

It saved mine.  And every year when I get "Happy Birthday" wishes, I welcome them, because there was a time I never thought I would receive one again.  That I was so close to slipping away, and that is a truth.  Anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any mental illness, and takes the lives of loved ones and friends.  It is a sad and devestating disease.  But there is hope.  With education and prevention, we can change that.  We can save our dearest, save ourselves.  So I wish all of you a Happy Birthday, even if yours isn't today.  Celebrate with me.  Be happy for being alive, and feel it.  Because you deserve it.  We all do.
xo
Nicole

Here is some info on the book:


Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/There-Wherever-There-Nicole-Roberge/dp/1849913242/ref=pd_rhf_p_t_1
B&N: http://www.amazon.com/There-Wherever-There-Nicole-Roberge/dp/1849913242/ref=pd_rhf_p_t_1
Chipmunka Publishing site: http://chipmunkapublishing.co.uk/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=2&products_id=1756


This compelling and poignant memoir tells about the journey through the disease of Anorexia, the recovery process, and a...ll that comes with it-the hurt, hope and humor. After almost dying from the disease, and being neglected by the doctors, the author sought recovery and spent seven weeks at an inpatient facility. In her powerful story, she digs into the depths of Anorexia and describes how her simple diet and exercise program turned into a horrific eating disorder-one that controlled her life and forced her to go to the gym every day for four hours and reduce her diet to only fruit. After almost suffering from a heart attack and amazed that she was still alive, she knew she had to save herself and get treatment. Today, she is a survivor. By telling her story of the disease and recovery process, she not only educates the reader about eating disorders, but also shares with them a secret world unknown to many, and most importantly, that there is hope and recovery is possible.